Soren says...

Feeling inspired

Wow, I suck. The last time I posted was December? I mean, if I am not a day late and a dollar short then what would you call me? So many things going on. I still don't think I have time for this thing, but then Sammy showed me Fresh Pepper a couple weeks ago, and that was just the flash in the pants inspiration I needed to start this thing up again. Not that I am promising anything. I am still would rather go booze it up than sit here trying to come up with witty, smart ass things to say. Having said that, I do miss the people that used to stop by my site and harass me. Maybe if I didn't feel the need to write a book every time I posted I would do it more. Oh well, who knows. All I do know is that Fresh Pepper is extremely entertaining and you should definitely check it out. I would consider it one of my favorite places for entertainment lately, along with Laguna Beach, my i-pod, and Vince Vaughn (quite possibly the perfect man).

I would write more except my ear infection is causing my equilibrium to be off and I can barely look at my computer screen without feeling like I am about to tip over. In case you need a quick synopsis of my life right now, here goes...I am living at home still, but am moving out soon (thank the good Lord) because well, living with your parents kind of cramps your style when you are 23.  I am still working at my great job in DT Minneapolis, and I am just a couple hundred thousand dollars short of my goal salary. Since December (among other things) I grew an appreciation for country music, visited New York City and Vegas (both for the first time), saw one of my best friends from HS get married, and tried to be cool (but failed miseralbly, please see living with parents comment above).

Ok I need to go soak my ear now (as attractive as that sounds).

Ode to Secret Santas

Once again it is the time of year when everyone comes together to spread commercialism and the love of giv--I mean receiving.  Ah yes, although the large corporation I work for does a lot for the community this time of year, someone in my department still thought it would be a good idea to participate in the joyous tradition of Secret Santaism (not to be confused with Satanism). To a lot of people, the idea of getting someone you hardly know (and/or in most cases, hardly like) a  $10 trinket weekly for a month seems like such a FANTASTIC idea. These are the types of people who I would call "nice"--you know, they like to run through dandelion fields or something like that.  And while, to them, it makes a lot of sense to waste their hard earned cash on some reindeer pipe-cleaner ornament they bought at the local gas station, I would rather have them give the $2.14 they wasted on me to someone or some organization that GASP actually needs it. True to myself, I hardly can blame people for wanting to recieve good presents in exchange for the crappy presents they give, but until my Secret Santa somehow finds a way to squeeze a Bentley in my cube, I will not be impressed. I will only come in to work, see the used Mary Higgins Clark book on my desk, and curse my Secret Santa. I mean, the whole process might be worth it at the end if you actually got to yell at the person who was giving you the crappy gifts, but no, you just have to smile and pretend you really do like eating Slim Jims and cheese in a can.

From now on I think I am going to take a new spin on my outlook of the Secret Santaism--I mean, by accepting these presents I am saving some needy person the disappointment of opening a cigarette lighter shaped like a Walleye.

I better be off to bed now, Lord knows I want to be in top form when I recieve my pack of Juicy Fruit tomorrow. Sigh.

Thanksgiving Resolution

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But here was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that this was my life. This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way --Souza

There are some days where I hate to be myself. I wake up one morning, and while everything is seemingly normal ( I hit the snooze button 40 times, and finally I force myself out of bed to only make myself look halfway presentable), and then something happens that makes me take a closer look at myself and how I can improve as a person.

In my case, I really need to work on the fact that I am a total spazz in some situations. Granted, these situations generally stem from me having to a) pretend to like someone that I think is a complete idiot b) cover for something idiodic that I did c) all of the above. Seriously, there is no excuse for freaking out over things that are beyond my control (or things that are in my control), it's just that people (including myself), continue to surprise me.

I mean, who knew professional basketball players would end up beating up some half (or fully) beligerent Pistons fan, all the while being pelted with various types of projectiles including, but not limited to: full cups of beer, popcorn, chairs, etc. etc.

Who knew even though I think something is worthless, my boss doesn't?

Who knew that everyone in the world does not agree with me, and furthermore, the world does not revolve around me?

On a slightly personal level (and I say slightly because while I never have been married, I know several people who have and who currently are, hitched), who knew so many people actually do CHEAT on their WIFE? I mean, seriously, it's like an epidemic! In the past month I have heard of 3 people cheating on their wife, and these are people who I thought were at least somewhat smart. Honestly, are girls really so insanely stupid that they actually think it's a good idea to get involved with some Jack who is married? Seriously, I don't care if he says "it's already over" or "my wife is in NYC, I am 40, look like a mob boss, make 100K a year, can get you whatever you want,  and you are so beautiful with that glass of Pinot Grigio," (not that I'm speaking from experience or anything), but seriously WHAT IS GOING ON? At least when I was in college you already KNEW the 5'6" Jewish kid or wanna be Jewish kid you had a crush on (because honestly, that is what you have to choose from in Madison) was going to cheat on you. But your husband?

I just don't get it. I guess I am just being more judgemental about myself and others (I know, you are thinking, wow, is it possible for her to be MORE judgemental of people), but seriously, there is a genuine problem. People need to start taking responsibility for their actions. (and when I say people I mean me), But they also need to stop cheating on their wife/husband, stop beating eachother up, stop shooting eachother (but keep killing those god forsaken overgrown rats I call deer), and realize the sun does not rise and shine on their ass. The sooner that happens, the better off we will be.

Souza said "There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way." Good call, buddy--but to take that further, why not take responsibility for the choices you make, and look upon yourself to become a better person. At least that's my Thanksgiving Day resolution.

Helllo....hello....hello...hello...h...e...l..l..oooo....

Hello world! Who knows if anyone is reading this anymore, but heck, I know I am pretty proud of myself. Personally, skipping right over all the election BS from August to November, and coming back into the blog world with a renewed sense of calm because good ol Bushie pulled though, how could I be happier?

I know I probably suck for several reasons for letting this go for 3 months, but yesterday was my 90 day mark at my first real job, so now I can breathe easily because they haven't fired me yet (knock on wood). I talked a lot about finding a job in earlier posts, and how stressful it was (is) to find a company that I liked that also liked me in return. I think I have found it. The coolest thing about it is that I work with a lot of young people. And, while this makes our numerous Happy Hours entertaining (several downtown Minneapolis bars are packed with Amstel Light drinking wanna be hipsters), it also almost seems like I am back in college. Granted, the "college" would be full of designer clad fast talking I'll-buy-you-dinner/floor seats to the Timberwolves/as many Amstel lights as you want-because-I-am-22-and-am-making-45K-a-year boys (and girls, however none have offered those things to me yet anyway), but it's hard to complain.  And, since I'm making around a whopping 30K a year for a highly less analatical job (a job for the numerically challenged), marketing, for me, is where it's at, because I got 2 turntables and a microphone. Boom chick boom-boom-boom-boom chick.

Like I said, I really think I picked a good time to come back. Bush won, the job is good, the Amstel light is flowing, and I'm not paying for it. Yep, my life finally seems to be in order. That's pretty cool.

So, ah, by the way, I got a job.

I would just like to congratulate myself. Cause I got a job. A real job. Wow. I start August 16th, and provided I don't win the lottery, marry Prince William or decide to become a hippie and join a commune (ha!), I am going to be working for the next 43 years. I'm not quite sure I want to blab to the world the name of the company I am working for, but let me tell you, it's a doozy. Not only that, I am making no less than $28,000 a year, and no more than $30,000. That means I'm not going to be able to throw the Benjamins around as much as I thought, but trust me my friends, my place of employment is solid, respectable, and in the heart of downtown Minneapolis. So. Now that I don't have to worry about finding a job anymore, I will now switch my nervous thoughts to finding an apartment in Uptown, the place where the hip, cool young kids live. Yay for me. Okay, I'm going to go enjoy my last 2 weeks of "summer."

Oh, Cheney...

I'm voting for Bush in November not because I think he is the nicest person in the world, but because the thought of having John Kerry as President for the next 4 years causes my body to violently sweat, and furthermore break out in hives. I am starting to think that Will Smith's new I, Robot movie could be more true than any of us may think. Seriously. This post is about Bush, and how he seems to be losing a bit of support in the polls. Could this have to do with Fahrenheit 9/11? Possibly, but I refuse to give Michael Moore credit for anything, so I'm going to say no. Is Bush losing points because there are no nuclear missles to be found in Iraq? That could have something to do with it, but I'm not going to blame it on that either. In fact, there really seems to be no hard core evidence pointing to one particular reason why he has taken a slight nose dive.

I, however, am wondering why Bush hasn't gotten rid of Cheney. I mean, don't get me wrong--Cheney, I don't think you are a bad person, I just think that your lack of leadership and well, presence, ANYWHERE over the past four years could present a problem. I mean, I'm not going to pretend that I know all of the work, or lack of work, you have put into your V.P. duties, but at least Gore showed up at a few events, and even told the press he thought Clinton was a giant douche bag for cheating on Hillary. Oh, Hillary.

I know Bush is sitting around the Oval Office with a Coke, or maybe one of those new fangled C2 cans, just wondering if Cheney is going to lose the election for him. So, my question to President Bush (who obviously is a loyal reader to my blog, right) is why aren't you getting rid of this guy? I mean, I know you don't want to look like a mean person, but I think you have worse things to worry about. Plus, looking mean in the past hasn't really slowed you down so....yeah. I mean, I don't know if you've thought about this, but some homosexual people might think you are mean because you don't want them to be able to get married. Furthermore, some people might be mad at you for trying to pass a consitutional amendment banning gay marriage in HEAVEN FORBID an election year. I know, it was risky, but I know where you are coming from, you never know how long you are going to be the good ol' Pres. ANYWHO, the point here is, you can't please everyone, and I'm thinking that if you have the balls to tackle issues like nuclear weapons and gay marriage, why don't you let go of the biggest weak link of them all?

I hope you take my advice, Bush, because I speak the truth. I've got to go finish a riveting discussion with my parents in regards to why rap music is not detremental to upper middle class white kids like me who really like it. I really hope my dad calls me liberal, because that makes me laugh.

I leave you with this, though...if you do decide to take my advice and give Cheney the axe, please do not choose Rumsfeld or Ashcroft as your second in command. I know that is pretty self explanatory, but you never know....also, do not choose the Benedict Arnold known as John McCain either.

Go Bush/Someone besides Cheney/Ashcroft/Rumsfeld/McCain 2004.

Caught between a rock and a hard place.

I have a dilemma. As most of you have probably noticed, I have been neglecting my blog. Now, I know I am making a huge assumption in thinking that people still come around and check my ramblings out once in a while, but I'm sure at least 2 people have noticed my absence. I hope. Why have I been neglecting it? Well, I don't think I'm lazy when it comes to writing, because I love to do it and obviously I am extremely talented (ha), but I don't want my blog to be boring and mundane. I want it to have a certain zest and flair (sp?), and honestly I have had a hard time coming up with things to talk about. And, admitting that makes me cringe, because it might mean that I am a (gasp) boring person.

I mean, in Madison I had a lot of things to write (complain) about, but here I am not surrounded by hippies, Long Islanders, or people who think they are smarter than God. I am surrounded by my family, and while the various members of my family have tons of idiosyncracies, I probably find them much more entertaining than than you would. Just the other day my mom was reading an article from Ladies Home Journal that talked about how birth order effects peoples' personality. I am the oldest, so supposedly I am a born leader, but am overly critical of people. Little ol' me? You're kidding.

After thinking about it though, I am overly critical. Not only of other people (does John Kerry EVER show ANY kind of emotion...he reminds me of a robot), but of myself (do I EVER blog anymore?) As critical as I am, I just cannot bring myself to cancel my TypePad account. I am too stubborn and think too highly of my entertainment value---so at least for now, I am going to keep my blog. I might only update once a month until I find a job and can post more often, as I will be surrounded with new people to criticize. Ha, more like marvel at their knowledge and the beloved EXPERIENCE that they possess...ah experience, I wish I had you.

Until then, look for posts once in a while, my 2 loyal readers. Also, look for comments by spammers like Shades, as they like to leave comments on blogs that are updated less often than some of the big boys. Sigh.

Is one day of sun too much to ask for? Apparently so.

Today is my 22nd Birthday. While I should be extremely happy about this occurrence, I must take this day with a grain of salt. Being one of the youngest in my grade, I have already listened to what all of my friends have said about turning the big 2 2. They've mostly said that being 22 is really no different than being 21, because it isn't a "milestone" birthday, meaning I'm not turning 13, and entering teen years (thank the good Lord for that), I'm not turning 16 (I already passed my drivers test, which I know still shocks some of you), I'm not turning 18 (not living in Madison anymore really has made the fact that I am voting for Bush in November seem a lot less dangerous and risky) and I already turned 21 last year, so really, what is there to live for? I know that I still haven't reached 25, so I still can't legally rent a car, but honestly, is that all I have to look forward to? The seemingly useless milestone of being able to rent a 1997 forest green Ford Taurus in 3 years?

I was also really hoping it was going to be sunny today. I don't know about your neck of the woods, but it has been raining and cold here for the past 10 days (at least). I know everyone wants their Birthday to be special and sunny yadda yadda and I really shouldn't feel sorry for myself, because a lot of people have their birthday in January, and let me tell you, in Minnesota, January is not pretty. Plus, I am slightly annoyed at all of the Lakers, who have been whining about the rain in Minnesota, so I guess if it is ticking them off, it is kind of worth it.

I mean, Shaq even blamed his poor free throw shooting on the rain. Yep.

The good news for the T-wolves is that Kobe is supposedly missing game 4 because of a court appearance. Double Yep.

Just like Shaq, I hope the rain stops soon, because last I checked I don't live in Seattle. I really don't even care if the high is only 40 degrees at this point, I just hope I see the sun sometime soon. I guess by giving up the sun on my 22 birthday, God shouldn't torment me again and not give me sun on my wedding day. I'll let you know when that date pops up, however I wouldn't count on it any time soon, cause I have to find a normal guy first. Ok, its time for me to go read the Drudge Report, which has been snapping me lately because of the 4,000 pop up ads that come up when you open the page. I also need to continue on my job quest. Until next time, you should all really try to get over your jealousy towards me, because I now only have 3 years left before I can legally rent a car.

Jackie and the Timberwolves

It was really nice to be in Minnesota to watch the final game of the NBA Western Conference Semi-finals, when the Timberwolves squeaked by the Sacramento Kings. However, the best part about watching the game was being able to do so with my family, and in particular my youngest sister Jackie. Jackie is in 8th grade and has a certain zest for life. She loves the Timberwolves, and especially Kevin Garnett, but watching the game with her was especially fun because she is still a kid, so she doesn't think she has to be cool or inhibit herself at all, she can just do what she wants. If you watched game 7 on Wednesday night, you know that the game was extremely close, and throughout the fourth quarter Jackie was doing laps around our living room and kitchen, and while I was nervous that she was going to hurt herself in her spastic pacing, I also became happy and excited watching her, because she had a great intensity for the game, yes, but also for life in general.

Her spazziness made me realize that while her behavior was over the top somewhat (because honestly, as much as I wanted the Timberwolves to win, I knew that I wouldn't die if that did, in fact, transpire), it just reminded me how fun it is to be happy, and to care so much about something that you would risk falling flat on your face for something you loved. She is truly happy, and that is really neat.

Go T-Wolves!!!

Good bye, Wisconsin, until we meet again...

As I wake up at noon, my body being only partially recovered after 3 days of intense celebrating, I turn over and look at the Bucky Badger stuffed animal I have had on my nightstand for the past 4 years. I start to think about Bucky, and how he now is rough around the edges from being moved from dorm to Sorority house to apartment to a different apartment, and how he used to sing the Wisconsin fight song, but his batteries are no longer functioning, and his caretaker (me) has become too lazy or preoccupied to change them. I become sad because I'm moving on Wednesday, and I know Bucky will be packed up in a box, and I don't know when he will see the light of day again.

After 4 tremendous years of college in Madison, I'm in the process of packing up the loads of crap I have accumulated, and am heading back to reality--aka the Minneapolis suburb I grew up in. In heading back to Minnesota, I start to think about how it is different from Wisconsin. While someday I am going to find the time to write a 1,000 page dissertation that details these differences, right now you are going to have to settle for a cheesy top ten list. I call it The Top 10 things I learned by Living in Wisconsin:

10. Wisconsinites know how to support their professional sports teams. I despise the Packers to the nth degree, but the Sconnie popluation truly loves them no matter how many interceptions Brett Favre throws. Most of them also like the Brewers and the Bucks too, but honestly it is the Packers that bring out the true hatred towards people like myself who like the Vikings.

9. If you want to have any Wisconsin friends, do not serve them Bud Light. My dad grew up in Missouri, so we always had Bud Light around our house. Naturally, when I came to college that is what I liked to drink, because little did I know that people in Wisconsin have lynched people who don't drink Miller products or Leinnies on a regular basis. I swear.

8. If you live in Madison, you need to become liberal. No conservatives allowed. However, if you leave Madison and the 30 square miles around it, you not only are allowed to be conservative, but people actually might like you better if you are.

7. You need to buy all of your clothing from Kohl's, your food from Copp's, and only eat Rocky Rococo pizza. You also need to bank at First Federal or the UW Credit Union.

6. Liquor stores are open on Sundays in Wisconsin. Wow. You can also buy alcohol at grocery stores and they sell Everclear. One of the worst mistakes I made when I was a freshman was not knowing what Everclear was...I had a good reason for not knowing, as they don't sell it in Minnesota. Pansies.

5. You need to call a water fountain a bubbler while living in Wisconsin. You also need to say "yet" at the end of everything--like, "It's going to rain, yet."

4. In Wisconsin if you are 18 you can drink with your parents. Better yet, if someone can make you a fake ID from New Jersey, you can drink by yourself.

3. Wisconsinites have Bucky Badger cheese curds. Oh, how I will miss them.

2. There is just a different feel here. A different attitude. I really can't explain it, but in a lot of ways it just seems like even though it is a big city, there is still a small town theme in Madison. If you talk to someone from Minnesota, they can tell you the difference...let them explain.

1. If you are willing to have only the highest level of pride for your state, and all it stands for, Wisconsin is the place for you.

So yeah. I know I should never say never, but I am 99% sure that I will never live in Wisconsin again. I will be back to Madison to visit for sure, but I know it will never be the same. I learned a lot, and the Wisconsinites generally welcomed me with open arms. My journey is done, and all that is left to do is say my goodbyes, and finish packing. For now I can only promise that I will try my best to retrieve Bucky from his box, and put him back on my nightstand as a reminder of my time here, for as cliche as this may sound, my time in Wisconsin (and college) was the best time of my life.